Willing vs Doing
by BrownieHartz
Summary: Jason and Liz had just called off the engagement... can anything bring them back together? Is it enough to be willing to risk the danger?
1. Willing vs Doing

**Disclaimer: I don't own any General Hospital characters but sometimes I wish. Anyway I just wrote this the other day cuz I was tryin to sleep and I thought of it and I couldn't sleep until I had it down on paper.**

Jason was headed home from the hospital wrapped in his own thoughts of Michael. Having just left the young boys room he was all but crying. Maybe a walk through the park would help to clear his mind, the rides weren't helping they only made him think of Elizabeth. Crap, he let his mind wonder to her again. It needed to stop, he really just needed to find away to stop thinking about her, and this certainly wasn't going to help. There right behind the bushes was Elizabeth and the boys playing in the park. He should have known, it was finally warm outside again and he hadn't seen Elizabeth at the hospital on duty. Maybe he could just watch for a little while…

Cameron was having a blast on the swings, higher and higher and higher until he would drop his feet and stop himself only to start over again. "Can I touch the sky with my feet mommy?" Liz gave a big smile and laughed at her son's question. "If you point your toes really straight and get as high as you can." Instantly the boy was on a mission trying to again go as high as he could. That's when he saw Jake… he had gotten so big. He was laying on a blanket in the grass surrounded by toys, He currently had the corner of a book in his mouth, obviously getting another tooth.

Jason could feel the tears start to rise up looking on what should be his family so he turned to hurry away and didn't notice poor Robin and almost ran her over. "Watch out Jase, pregnant lady coming through…" she joked while Jason tried to apologize. She was about to ask what was wrong when she heard the baby in the background and her eyes focus on Liz and the boys that were just beyond the bushes. "You know she loves you Jason."

"What are you talking about Robin?"

"Elizabeth, don't play smart with me. I've seen you two. The way you try so hard not to look at each other. When you do make eye contact it is like no one else is even in the room." She paused for only a moment to see if he would say something and continued, "you need each other now more than ever Jase."

"My life is too dangerous, it always has been Robin. You were right to leave me and to try to protect Michael. Maybe you were the only one that saw me for who I really am, a complete and total danger to everyone around me."

"Jason… I"

"There is nothing to say Robin. My life will never allow me to have a wife and kids." He could feel his heart breaking all over again as he said it but he knew it was the right decision. If Jake ever ended up where Michael was now… he had no idea what he would do.

"Sometimes when you love someone, you are willing to take the risks…"

"One thing to be say you are willing and another to actually live with it from day to day. To wake up each morning and wonder if that is the day that your kids will be kidnapped or die. To worry every night whether your husband will come home or you will be getting a phone call from Sonny."

Robin found herself at a loss for words… Jason was using words like husband, wife. It was easy to tell Liz and her boys were all he wanted and the very thing he wouldn't let himself have. She watched as he walked away from her and headed off toward his bike. She found herself watching Liz and the boys, knowing that in a few months that would be her. Then she heard the bike rev up behind her and Elizabeth's face shoot up.

"Jason?" she watched as Liz's mouth formed his name and the pain well up in her eyes, yet she remained strong for her boys. Not showing them that her heart had just been torn a little more.

**- The Next Day at General Hospital -**

Robin had been debating all night if she should go see Michael or not. With Carly by his side 24/7 she knew it was probably not a good idea. It seemed that Jax had finally persuaded her to go home for at least a little while. How many times was she going to walk passed his room without going in on one shift?

"Debating if you should go in to see him or not?" liz asked.

"Part of me keeps thinking if only I had stayed with Jason and Michael. Maybe this wouldn't be happening.

"Jason's life is too dangerous. Especially for a child, that's why you ended up leaving him. Even when things seem calm or he tries to get out. Jason will always have too many enemies."

"That's the thing Elizabeth. I think I was willing to deal with the danger in his life… but Jason goes into protector mode. He pushes you away to try and keep you safe. And I was too scared to fight him back. I couldn't really take the risk, unless…"

"He asked you to?" Liz finished her sentence because it was the same thing she had been thinking over and over again. She knew it was dangerous. She knew the risks involved but if he asked it of her, she would do it.

"I can't help but think… has anyone ever really fought for Jason? For what he wants… well I guess maybe Carly" Robin and Liz both laughed at that comment "but really look how fiercely loyal he is to her. I guess it is none of my business" Robin had learned a thing or two through everything with Patrick, the biggest being you can't fully live without love. She hated seeing her new friend going through all of this pain.

Epiphany started to glare at the two women. The stopped talking and went their separate ways. Liz with tears in her eyes… she couldn't stop thinking about something carly had said years ago. "You know what the best thing is… you don't have the guts to go after what you want. You'll suffer for the rest of your life. You'll regret it, it will be your own fault." April 22, 2001 the day that changed her life, if she had gone off with Jason there is a chance that Cameron could be Jason's son. They would have been in Italy together and maybe they would already be married and raising Cam and Jake.

Liz couldn't help but miss Emily. She always knew what Elizabeth needed to hear. She knew Robin cared and was trying to help but she couldn't possibly fight for Jason. They had already discussed it many times. His life was too dangerous… but how was she to live like this. He heart would drop every time she heard a motorcycle. Each time her phone rang she always looked to see if he was calling her. She would come across the smell of leather and think about his jacket. Then the dreams… oh the dreams. She needed Emily now more than ever!

**- That Night Back at Jason's penthouse - **

Tomorrow he would have to start spinelli looking for anything he could find about the shooting. Tonight he needed to find a way to just forget about her. Jason opened the door to the penthouse and walked inside only to discover a playpen was set up in the middle of his livingroom and all of the furniture had been pushed back. He was about to yell for Spinelli when he heard the baby coo.

He walked over to Jake and was mesmerized. The boy had his eyes… and he was just staring right at him. Then Jake started to fuss and instinctively Jason grabbed the boy and held him close. For the first time n days he felt a smile spread across his face.

"I thought he might help you…" Liz said as she walked down the stairs.

"What are you doing here? Elizabeth you have to go…"

"No! look at your son. He needs you Jason. He needs to hear your voice, and to have you hold him. Jason I need you. My life is not complete without you in it. You are worth the risk Jason. I trust that you will keep our boys as safe as possible. I'll have guards, and move into the penthouse if it is safer, Spinelli could watch the boys, they can go to private school when the time comes…"

But she didn't get to say anymore by that time Jason had stopped her mid sentence with a kiss. She looked right into his eyes and smiled at his words…"Marry Me?"

**Notes: Please review… this is my second piece and I'm pretty nervous about it. Good or bad welcome, just trying to continue to get better. **


	2. The letter

**I was not originally going to continue this but after MANY reviews here and on the MB I decided I might give it a shot. Please Read and Review**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GH... maybe one day -lol- (j/k)**

-- General Hospital --

"Hey Elizabeth, are you just coming on or heading home," asked Robin.

"I'm just coming into work. A little late actually…" her mind drifted back to the proposal and the kiss afterward. Oh that kiss! And the feel of him pressing against her…

"Hello? Earth to Elizabeth?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something."

"Jason?"

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Liz, your face is all red" Robin said while trying to hold back laughter. As soon as she said it Elizabeth's face became a even deeper shade of red.

"I better start my first med pass." Elizabeth said as she turned to walk away from Robin. Keeping this engagement a secret was going to be much harder than she thought. She wanted to run into the hospital and yell at the top of her lungs 'I AM MARRYING THE MAN OF MY DREAMS' but she knew all the reasons that was not exactly possible.

Her med pass was going well, most patients were used to the routine after a few days in the hospital. She only had a few rooms left when she noticed a new name on her chart, Mrs. Halpert; she had obviously been moved to the tenth floor after she left on Friday. She was an absolute bear to work with. She was such a bitter old woman, always had something mean or nasty to say. Many nurses had left her room with black eyes or bruised thighs. Taking a deep breath she entered the room.

"Good evening Mrs. Halpert" Elizabeth said in her nicest voice, trying to just get through the routine and get out.

"What's so good about it? I had triple bypass surgery a few days ago and I'm still stuck in the forsaken place."

"You get to go home to your husband in a few more days, won't that be nice?" She handed her the pills and a small cup of water when asking the question.

"NICE? HA! My husband only married me because I pressed him to when I got pregnant all those years ago. One of those loyal men, who won't do anything for himself. Why in the WORLD would you think it was NICE to go home to HIM?" She snapped at Elizabeth tossing her pills at her and pouring the water down the front of her scrubs.

"I'm sorry… I" Elizabeth tried to say

"GET OUT! GET OUT OR I'LL"

She found out what it was Mrs. Halpert would do, she got out of the room as quickly as she could. Her words stung like a bitter cold wind. Maybe she had done that to Jason. She basically pressured him to propose to her…

"_I thought he might help you…" Liz said as she walked down the stairs._

"What are you doing here? Elizabeth you have to go…"

"No! look at your son. He needs you Jason. He needs to hear your voice, and to have you hold him. Jason I need you. My life is not complete without you in it. You are worth the risk Jason. I trust that you will keep our boys as safe as possible. I'll have guards, and move into the penthouse if it is safer, Spinelli could watch the boys, they can go to private school when the time comes…"

But she didn't get to say anymore by that time Jason had stopped her mid sentence with a kiss. She looked right into his eyes and smiled at his words…"Marry Me?"

She kept replaying it in her mind the events of the night before… How could she pressure Jason into marrying her? She pretty much used Jake against him, setting up his living room with Jake and Cameron upstairs playing with Spinelli. She just couldn't face him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Robin couldn't help but notice the huge change in Elizabeth's demeanor after their first talk. She didn't have the bounce in her step or the joy in her eyes. If Robin didn't know better she'd think someone had just died. She decided to go on her break early when she saw Liz headed down to the café. "Hey Liz, wait up"

Elizabeth turned her head to see who was calling… she really did not want to talk. She just wanted to write her letter in peace and get home as soon as possible. The longer she thought about the night before the more guilty she felt about the whole thing.

"Want some company? You seem a little down. Did Mrs. Halpert hurt you?"

"No, it's just this thing with Jason. I mean… well I don't know. I feel like I'm forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do."

"Come on Elizabeth, you can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. It's Jason."

"Yeah, the same Jason that kills at Sonny's command or lies to friends and family. That's why we broke up all those years ago, Sonny asked him to lie to me. Don't you get it? Jason always does what is best for others… someone has to be what is best for him. I'm sorry Robin I've got to go." Elizabeth ran off toward the locker room eyes streaming down her face. Robin was lost, she had no idea what had just happened but it did not look good for Liz or Jason. Hopefully they would be able to work it out, and maybe for once Jason wouldn't do the 'right thing' and instead do what he wanted.

Elizabeth read over the later for the third time making sure it was perfect before she sent it to him. There was no way she could do this in person, it was too painful.

Jason,

First, let me say that I love you. It is because I love you that I had to write this letter. I cannot stop thinking about last night. I am so sorry that I forced myself and my boys onto you when I knew that you wanted me to stay clear. I know it is best for the boys safety and for my own to stay apart. I will not pressure you again to be with me and the boys. I will do my best to raise Jake with all the love I can give him. I promise you he will be happy and healthy.

Love,

Elizabeth

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Spinelli! SPINELLI!"

"Yes, master obi-wan I'm coming post haste."

"Did you find it?"

"Ah, the Jackal was able to procure said engagement ring Stone Cold."


	3. A small package

"I rushed the shipment Stone Cold, you should have it within a week

"I rushed the shipment Stone Cold, you should have it within a week."

Jason's face lit up, he was finally going to have everything he had ever wanted.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Elizabeth had mailed the letter on her way out of the hospital and went to her car to head home to her boys and to relieve the sitter. She was having the hardest time trying to start the key, she couldn't see the ignition for all her tears. She was sobbing so hard her whole body was convulsing. She cried until she could cry no more…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jason was waiting around the penthouse for Max to arrive, who knew where that mad had been. He seemed to be leaving a lot lately.

-Knock- "Jason it's me"

"Come in Max"

"I'm sorry, I was…"

"I need you to clean out the penthouse. Add full security measures, put a guard at the door around the clock. I want to know this place is safe" Jason seemed almost excited when he started arranging the new furniture that needed to be purchased for the penthouse. Even his beloved pool table had to go.

- - - - - - - -- - - - - - --

Elizabeth finally stopped crying and was able to begin to think clearly. She knew what she had to do… but it wasn't going to be easy. No more safe house, no more text messages, or secret phone calls. No more sending him photos or going to the coffee shop. If this was going to work, if she had to stop loving Jason, she had to stop seeing him. Just the sigh of him took her breath away and even made her heart skip a beat. She lifted her cell phone to call the sitter and let her know she would be a little late.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jason was going to wait until he had the ring to see Elizabeth again, he was almost like a child in grade school so eager to get the mail everyday. That's when he saw it, a letter from Elizabeth. He looked around to make sure Spinelli would not interrupt him, just in case.

Jason,

First, let me say that I love you. It is because I love you that I had to write this letter. I cannot stop thinking about last night. I am so sorry that I forced myself and my boys onto you when I knew that you wanted me to stay clear.

This couldn't be happening… she was pulling away from him? Using his own fears against him? What was the other night about then, why did she come here and say all those things?

I know it is best for the boys safety and for my own to stay apart. I will not pressure you again to be with me and the boys.

No no no… his perfect world was slipping through his fingers too quickly. Max had already finished half the improvements on the penthouse. This could not be happening.

I will do my best to raise Jake with all the love I can give him. I promise you he will be happy and healthy.

Love,

Elizabeth

Jason wanted to collapse, to crumble right into the floor and disappear. It was too hard to say goodbye once, how was he supposed to do it again?

-Knock – Knock –

"What?"

"Sorry Jason, there is a man here with a package for you."

Jason set the letter down on the desk and walked to the door dreading what he knew he would find in the package. "Are you Jason Morgan, please sign here."

Jason reached out for the man's clip board and signed by the X on the page, and was handed a small package – Elizabeth's ring. Spinelli really did have it shipped at what did he call it… 'fiber optic speed?' What was he going to do with her ring?

Everything he ever wanted was always taken away from him, or he had to push it away… Everything Michael, Carly, Courtney, Sam, Jake, and Elizabeth. He was just not meant to be happy. Elizabeth didn't say anything about him not visiting… just that she would try to stay away. Maybe, just maybe he could still get his life.

Ringing – Ringing – Ringing –

"Hey Elizabeth, I need to see you at the safe house as soon as possible. Please call me back as soon as you get this. I love you."

Elizabeth was right beside the phone but could not answer when she saw his number. Maybe seeing him one last time would not hurt. She could apologize in person and they could really say their goodbyes. She reached for her phone to send a text.

- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -

Incoming Message

Meet me in 20 min –

Jason grabbed his keys and headed for the safe house, the package tucked safely away in his jacket pocket.


	4. Of Course

**I was almost very mean for this chapter but after such a long drought, I thought I might as well be nice. You can all thank my Haven girls for the change of heart!**

He was so pensive the whole drive, expecting rain or a wreck on the side of the road. Things always seemed to get in their way. Wither he wanted to believe it or not, the thing in the way this time was him. He just had to keep telling himself that it was for Jake, as long as he was safe everything would be worth it. All the pain and suffering that he and Elizabeth were going through, maybe she was right. Meeting her today would not make this any better. Then he heard Elizabeth's voice in his head, _"there are other ways of getting hurt… we doubt and make decisions to be safe, love shouldn't be safe." _She might have been talking about Emily and Sonny but he couldn't forget it, the feeling behind her eyes and the passion in her voice. Even then part of him wished that she had been talking about them. Since that first ride, part of him had always been a little bit in love with her. The look on her face when she finally said 'yes' to him, then that hug, and oh that kiss….

How could he let her walk out of his life? What happened to her after his proposal? Why was she backing out? Wasn't she the one that fought for him? And what did she mean by forced? How was it possible to go from happily engaged to this torture?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Safehouse**

Elizabeth didn't know what to do, she wasn't even sure why she had even agreed to go to the safe-house. It had taken everything she had to write and send that letter. This was a bad idea, if he showed up and she was sitting here on the couch he would think she wanted to work everything out. He would do the right thing and ask her to marry him again, she wouldn't be able to say no again and they would be stuck in a marriage of convenience for Jake. She had been in a marriage like that with Lucky, Lucky loved her but her heart belonged to Jason. She needed to get out of there. She got up from the couch and reached for her bag and keys. She reached out for the knob on the door when it swung open in at her.

It was the most wonderful sight, his hair was all out of place from the wind and the sun brought out the golden undertones. His eyes were sparkling like sapphires in sunlight with the classic leather jacket and tight black T. He was so perfect, how was she going to walk away from him again?

Jason took a step forward and closed the gap between himself and Elizabeth. He wrapped his arms around her waist and slowly he moved in to kiss her, her hands cupped his face and lead him to her lips. Before the kiss could be deepened Elizabeth pulled away from him and stepped back from his arms.

"Elizabeth…"

"Jason, I should go. It was wrong to met with you here… we agreed it was safer for Jake ."

"Elizabeth I love you. I've been a little bit in love with you for years. I can't imagine my life without you and Jake. I know you're scared for your boys, and my life is risky but I would do anything to be with you Elizabeth. To hold you in my arms at night when we lay down for the night, holding Jake and watching him take his first steps, and playing with Cameron. I want a life with you Elizabeth, I want to be with my family."

Elizabeth couldn't hold back the tears anymore. How could she have been so wrong? Jason had just put his heart in her hands. He loved her back… "It's not your risk to take Jason, it's mine." His face seemed to light up at her words, and he even had that small smile. "What is the point of being safe if I don't have you?"

"I would never tell you what to do, but would you be willing to take the risk and be with me?"

"Nothing would make me happier Jason"

Jason reached inside his Jacket pocket and pulled out the small black box and handed it to Elizabeth. "Will you marry me Elizabeth Webber?"

Elizabeth could not get out words she was so happy. She pulled him back into a hug and just enjoyed him close to her. "Of course I will"

"I'm sorry I didn't fight for you sooner, I will never stop fighting for you Elizabeth," Jason slipped the ring onto her finger while talking. They were finally going to be together and nothing was going to come between them again.

**The End**


End file.
